It’s Sunday, so a media-related post, but different.
I was reading this article about German Director Werner Herzog¹ , and found a list of his suggestions to young film-makers.

And indeed, these suggestions apply to writing too – and a lot of other things.
So, what with me being on a writing roll and all that, I decided to see how Herzog’s rules apply to writing, based on what I learned so far. Sort of a personal recap of what’s been going on so far.
And yes, this is incredibly cheeky.
So sue me.

1. Always take the initiative.

Yep – go on and write it.
Pitch it.
Self-publish it.
There’s a guy I know that’s waiting for a big publisher to knock on his door and ask permission to publish his novel.
Chances are, he’ll be waiting quite a while.

2. There is nothing wrong with spending a night in jail if it means getting the shot you need.

Ouch.
But yes – do what needs to be done to get the story straight.
Now, with writing is probably more something like overdue library books than arrest-worthy misdemeanors, but you get the idea…

3. Send out all your dogs and one might return with prey.

This one, for us word-hacks, applies to the submission process, certainly.
Post those stories – one of them might make it through.
But also, self-publish your stuff – if that’s your thing: get the stories out there, test them against live (hopefully) members of the paying public.
But also, it’s worth trying all our ideas – who knows which one of them will turn into a great piece of writing?

4. Never wallow in your troubles; despair must be kept private and brief.

Oh, yes – the ever-popular cliché of the suffering artist is for posers.
We don’t have the time for such foolishness – and our pain, like every other emotion of ours, is a private thing that can fuel our stories, but never dominate them.

5. Learn to live with your mistakes.

Bad stories, lame characters, good stuff published in ghastly anthologies, ebooks that disappeared as soon as Amazon validated them, bad reviews on Goodreads, nobody at the presentation of our new book…
File them all as learning experiences.

6. Expand your knowledge and understanding of music and literature, old and modern.

Yes – feed your head, like Grace Slick used to sing.
And watch movies!
And look for connections, for parallels, for stuff in there that you can use in your stories.

7. That roll of unexposed celluloid you have in your hand might be the last in existence, so do something impressive with it.

We once had blank pages.
Paper, good paper – Fabriano extra strong A4 typing paper was the one I used with my mom’s Olivetti Lettera 32.
Files don’t feel the same – but think in terms of time, instead of celluloid rolls.
Time is running out.
Remember what Asimov said when asked what he’d do if he were to know he was about to die: type faster.

8. There is never an excuse not to finish a film.

Yes!
Finish that story!
Unfinished stories are like cancers – will grow unseen and kill you.
Finish that frigging story!

9. Carry bolt cutters everywhere.

I take this to mean, don’t believe in barriers and uncrossable lines.
“you can’t write that!”
Really?

10. Thwart institutional cowardice.

Either Hearst or Pulitzer once said “News is what they don’t want published, all the rest is advertisement.”
Be courageous, be original.
Show them.

11. Ask for forgiveness, not permission.

They won’t grant you permission anyway – they will not let you write the story you like.
They want something just like [insert best-selling author/title here]
Go on and write your story.

12. Take your fate into your own hands.

Obviously.

13. Learn to read the inner essence of a landscape.

Oh, yes.
Places have a power that can add a lot to a text.
Descriptions must catch the essence of the place, not just list items.

14. Ignite the fire within and explore unknown territory.

A lot of creative writing coaches use the expression Get out of your comfort zone.
Same thing, I guess.

15. Walk straight ahead, never detour.

You have a target, a theme, a plot, a structure.
Trust in them, and go straight ahead (there will be time for deviations in revision).

16. Manoeuvre and mislead, but always deliver.

You create an expectation, and you promise something to the reader – you can’t betray that deal.
But also, you must subvert expectations – the femme fatale is the hero, the bad guy turns out to be not that bad after all and yes, there’s gonna to be a sequel someday… you have to surprise them, and still give them what they need.
And a very little serving of what they want.

17. Don’t be fearful of rejection.

Ah!
Need I add anything?
Obviously not!

18. Develop your own voice.

Yes!
And trust your own voice.
People will pay for that voice – and the stories you tell in it.

19. Day one is the point of no return.

Once you start, you have to finish.

20. A badge of honor is to fail a film theory class.

Handbooks are a great fun, and you can learn something from each one.
And from card magic books, and from cookbooks, too!
But swearing by a writing handbook or a style guide is simply crazy – there is no single way, no one and only certified method, no single style set in stone.
And whoever claims there is, is a fool or a crook.

21. Chance is the lifeblood of cinema.

And of writing.

22. Guerrilla tactics are best.

Be small, mobile, adaptable, and ruthless.
In your writing, in your marketing strategies, in your communications.

23. Take revenge if need be.

Boy, I love this one.
Yes.
Do it.
With class, but do it.

24. Get used to the bear behind you.

They will always point out your mistakes, they will always say that it could have been done better.
And yet there is also a sense of urgency.
Forever polishing a text is a good way never to publish it.

And here we are.
Who knows if I got them right?
Comments, as always, are open.

But you knew already.