Mad Mandarin
A classic illustration by Jerome Rozen, 1936.
This one should be easy…
Writing Prompt – Overkill
Karavansara
East of Constantinople, West of Shanghai
Karavansara
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8 November 2013 at 04:58
Trespassers! Arrogant tourists using my properties for their filthy games of sexual chicanery, inventing titillating perils to fill the empty voids of their existences! Why must I suffer these intrusions in my place of business? My warehouseman Kwok is fast, young and fleet of mind. The doltish ingénue, who weighed less than two sacks of rice, was removed from any danger the moment his hands laid upon the release lever and thrust it towards the locked position. If anything, she looked more in danger of soiling herself from embarrassment.
“You and your unconfident friends will rue the day you decided to treat my property like some degenerate Berlin nightclub basement, you gullible harlot! Your faces will all grace the front page of the morning’s Shanghai Post! May your shame be thousandfold!” I doubted that she understood Mandarin, but my tone was sufficient to convey my displeasure.
Her erstwhile playmates literally tripped over themselves in reaction to my legally justifiable rage, unsure and unable to decide whether they should flee in terror or assault my personage. One floundered like the Proverbial fish out of water, while the other assumed a mask of concocted rage and bared his manicured claws. Closeted sodomite! It would serve him right to writher in pain until the Metropolitan Police came to collect his whimpering sack of flesh, if I used my fan to lay him low with the ‘Wave Of The Seventh Maiden’.
Truly despicable hóng máo guǐzi!
The only glimmer of justice was for my pets, who enjoy a feast of uncured hemp. Better that they chase their own tiny dragons that way, then try to steal from my opium jar.
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8 November 2013 at 13:29
LOL!
Brilliant!
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9 November 2013 at 00:53
I wrote it hearing Mako’s voice. [img]http://www.cinemastrikesback.com/news/actors/mako/mako.jpg[/img]
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9 November 2013 at 01:20
The most gravelly voice in the universe!
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